המגפיים של ברט :-)

הצעדן · על ידי **הצעדן** » 26 מרץ 2006, 17:10

COWBOY BOOTS

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, are in Queensland

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife: 'Notice anything different about me?'

Margaret looks him over, 'Nope.'

Frustrated Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Margaret looks up and says, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.'

Furious, Bert yells, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'

'Nope', she replies.

'IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!'

To which Margaret replies...

"Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.

yuval · על ידי **yuval** » 26 מרץ 2006, 19:42

גדול מהחיים.. :lol:

יונה · על ידי **יונה** » 26 מרץ 2006, 20:34

Chatting while waiting for their flights at the Bozeman, MT airport are:
An American Indian, passing through from Lame Deer, a cowboy on his way to Billings for a stock show, and a fundamentalist Muslim exchange student, newly arrived at Montana State University from his home in the Middle East.

Their discussion drifts through many topics to their diverse cultures. Soon, the cowboy and the Indian learn that the Arab student is a devout, fundamentalist Muslim with a certain disdain for the West, and the conversation dies out.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, puts his feet up on the table in front of him and pulls his hat down over his eyes. They continue to wait. Finally the american Indian speaks:

"At one time, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim leans forward. "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

The cowboy shifts the toothpick in his mouth from one side to the other, and drawls from under his Stetson, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'."

And another 1

It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail haircut. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in.

"Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" she says. Once Harold is inside, Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do.

Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says "Wha...aaat?"

"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear.

Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids," with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:

"Dammit, Mom! The Twist! The Twist! It's called The Twist!

johndoe · על ידי **johndoe** » 27 מרץ 2006, 19:44

רבותיי, השמנתי בכמה וכמה קילוגרמים טובים עם הבדיחות פה............

יונה · על ידי **יונה** » 27 מרץ 2006, 19:59

לכל אותם שאינם מנויים בפורום המסויים, לשירותכם.

CARMEN
A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive woman standing alone.

He approached her and asked her name.

"My name is Carmen," she told him.

"That's beautiful," he said. "Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men.

What's your name?" she asked.

"Beerf**k," he replied.

trooperglock · על ידי **trooperglock** » 28 מרץ 2006, 08:09

נהדר.....

400

יונה · על ידי **יונה** » 28 מרץ 2006, 19:09

A Woman was in the kitchen boiled eggs for breakfast. Her hubby walks in and asks "What's for breakfast?"
The woman turns to him and says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment".
He, thinking it's his lucky day, bends her over the kitchen table and they have sex.
Afterwards he says, "What was that all about?"

The woman replies "The egg timer's broken!"

GUSS · על ידי **GUSS** » 28 מרץ 2006, 20:02

הצעדן · על ידי **הצעדן** » 28 מרץ 2006, 21:15

למה אתה צוחק עודד?! הבחור השקיע, זו סיבה לצחוק ??? :mrgreen:

advocate · על ידי **advocate** » 29 מרץ 2006, 12:42

אם היא רצתה להכין ביצה רכה - אאוץ'

אבל אם ביצה קשה.... חבר'ה הבחור מלך!

cheni · על ידי **cheni** » 29 מרץ 2006, 22:35

אוי הבטן

donduck · על ידי **donduck** » 30 מרץ 2006, 06:42

ואם רצתה חמינדוס?

יונה · על ידי **יונה** » 30 מרץ 2006, 06:45

donduck כתב:ואם רצתה חמינדוס?

רובי

And pigs can fly?

advocate · על ידי **advocate** » 31 מרץ 2006, 17:26

מה, זה לא ברור? הבחור לקח ויאגרה.... :twisted:

המגפיים של ברט :-)

המגפיים של ברט :-)

Another one

CARMEN

Timer